Being single in New York City can truly be one of the most exciting, rewarding, and eye-opening times in your life. I have been a longtime advocate for singlehood because it gives you a hands-on opportunity to learn how to be independent and discover yourself. Mind you, I’m referring to being purposefully single and making an effort to stay that way for the time being. “Single and looking” doesn’t count.
Of course, solid relationships are wonderful, and even though I enjoy every second of being single, I absolutely believe in love. But if you ever find yourself flying solo as an NYC local, take it as a blessing and keep in mind that there’s a host of valuable lessons you’ll have a chance to learn if you’re single in the city.
Having a partner can be a great support system whether you need advice or a shoulder to cry on. Without that safety net, however, you learn how to rely on yourself and trust your gut instinct. Dependence and shyness are traits that don’t fare well in this city, and singlehood is the perfect time to figure out what it’s really like to be strong and stand on your own two feet. It’s pleasantly surprising to tap into that sense of inner strength and realize what you can accomplish on your own.
Your relationship status doesn’t define you.
There’s something I have believed, even when I was in a relationship: a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, or husband does not make you more worthy. A significant other doesn’t make you smarter, hotter, or more successful. A partner may complement who you are, but in no way does anyone define you as an individual – and in no way should being in a relationship make you feel better about yourself.
How to foster other areas of your life.
It’s common to neglect your own life when you get caught up in a relationship. There’s no better time to learn how to foster other areas of your life than when you are single. You can focus on your career, hobbies, health, travel, and friends and family (the people who will always be there for you while significant others may come and go).
New York City is fun enough without date night.
Hello? We live in one of the most exciting places in the world, and it doesn’t take a relationship to make NYC worth experiencing. Being single in the city has nothing to do with endless weekends at home watching Netflix and eating pints of ice cream – although that can be fun when you need a break from partying. Instead, it’s much more about impromptu nights out on the town with friends and extra time to try something new.
You are enough.
Of all the lessons you can learn by taking time away from dating, nothing is more important than realizing that you are enough. Coincidentally, you’ll become more attractive when you have this mindset because you’re not unknowingly giving off an air of neediness or desperation. Confidence and independence are sexy. And when you learn how to love yourself and be happy while single, then it’ll be much more satisfying and enjoyable when you consciously decide you’re ready to share your fabulous New York City life with someone else.
What have you learned from being single?
Thanks to James Maher for the photos in the post.